Better Than That

I rolled over the bed to look at the alarm clock on the nightstand, it was 2 a.m and I could not sleep yet. My boyfriend was beside me sleeping, he fell asleep a while ago, after we had sex. He was never bothered by how much I moved in bed, so I was not afraid of waking him up. My anxiety was keeping myself up. It was not work related, or family related, or anything like that. It was about the man lying next to me in bed, the one I have been dating for the past 8 months.

Nick was a good guy, both to me and everybody else. I had fallen for his charm and gentle ways, and I knew he was in love with me as well. Until, well, recently. He began to get distant, the only time I really felt him close to me was when we had sex, and even so it did not have the same passion as before. It’s almost as if Nick was not into me anymore.

These thoughts kept me awake at night, and made me a walking zombie during the day. I had little time to focus on my romance during daytime, however, with work and house chores piling up. I tried to relax myself thinking about happier times, when we started to date and he was so attentive and nice to me. It was as if his focus shifted completely from me to something else now.

And thinking about the old times was not exactly the happiest thing to do. Having a complete overhaul of how were things before led me to remember how our relationship started to slow down, something that began two months ago. He stopped planning dates for us, stopped putting me first on everything and stopped giving me so much attention.

And I understand it is healthy in relationships to have some time alone; but it was as if he was not trying, and this has been going on for two months straight. That night, I cried myself to sleep, and it was not the first time. He did not know, however, that this was something common in me, and much less that he was the cause of my sudden depression.

The following morning, he was a little bit more attentive. He rolled over the bed and began kissing me on the neck; he knew these were my favorite kind of kisses. “Wake up, sleepy” he said, moving his hand down to my crotch, to feel my morning wood. Was this a fantasy? I woke up to him kissing me on the lips and gently stroking my cock.

“Good morning Nick” I said, then continued to kiss him. “You’re mushy this morning” I said, taking a pause from the kiss. “I love you baby boy” he whispered on my ear, then got under the blanket then began to suck my dick. I was both pleased and confused. However, I know his love would end as soon as we left bed.

While submerged in my thoughts, he made me come. It was not pleasurable; the anxiety kept me from feeling something. Then, I gave him head. I sucked slowly and focused on his dick, and he pulled my short brown hair while I did so. After a few minutes, he came his warm load into my mouth, letting out a big groan in the process.

“That was good” I said, wiping the cum from my mouth. “Thank you baby” he said, then kissed me on the lips and went to get ready for work. Through the rest of the morning, he was cold and distant as always. I tried to not let it bother me, as I made breakfast for the both of us.

During breakfast, I tried to break into conversation and he would only give me short, cold replies. It stung, and considering how loving he was earlier, it made it hurt so much more. I finished my food silently, then did the dishes as he left. I spent most of the day sleeping, thankfully it was my day off. I think I had to build up the courage to speak up to Nick and tell him how I felt, but it was always hard.

I woke up to the noise of Nick walking into the house, at 7 P.M. I approached him slowly, then he kissed me after closing the door. “Enjoying your day off, Frank?” he asked, grabbing me by the hip. “It was not so fun without you around” I said, a clear lie slipping out of my lips. Then, he kissed me passionately and walked me towards the wall, holding me against it as he removed my shirt and continued to kiss me.

“Then I’m about to make it fun” he said, undoing his pants. I knelt down before him, and began sucking on his dick. “I needed this” he said, then leaving a loud groan out. He held me up, then undid my pants and proceed to give me a blowjob. After all our clothes laid on the floor, we began to kiss and made way into the bedroom. There, he pushed me onto bed and began to rim my ass, my legs spread open and held up in the air.

He was slick, switching between blowing me, sucking my balls, rimming and fingering my ass. It was very pleasurable and I did need the time off. He stood up and fucked me raw into my ass, then thrusting into me slowly. He bent down to kiss my nipples, then my neck, driving me crazy over him.

After about 10 minutes, he pulled out and grabbed me by the head, then directed me at his dick for me to suck on it. After a few moments, he came inside my mouth, and I swallowed it whole. Then, he pushed me away and laid over the edge of the bed to suck on my dick, while simultaneously fingering me, making me come in a few minutes.

“That was great” he said, walking into the bathroom. We showered together, and it was the most passionate shower we’ve had in recent times. Maybe his love was coming back? My enthusiasm was soon over, because as soon as we left the shower, he treated me coldly again. “What’s for dinner?” he asked, putting his pajamas up. “I’m about to go fix something” I said, walking towards the kitchen.

I held my tears in while I made some spaghetti for dinner, being ready in about 30 minutes, with a mushroom sauce to top it. After eating, silently, we slid into bed and he fell asleep after kissing me good night. We did not even hug or anything. I stayed up until late again, but this night was different.

Nick woke up around 3 A.M, and saw me crying a few tears. “What’s wrong Frank?” he asked, shocking me. “N-nothing. I am trying to sleep” I said, trying to remain calm. “You’re crying” he said, and then I realized I had to confront him. “Well, this is not the first time I do so at night…” I said, then wiped my tears.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, not knowing that he was the cause. “Well, you see… I feel our relationship is pointless now” I said, holding back more tears. “Why do you say that?” he had an angry expression now. “You treat me like a simple sex toy then barely talk to me during the day, outside sex. This has been going on for two months now” I said, a few tears escaping my eyes.

“That is not true” he said back, starting a discussion that continued well onto the morning. “You can say you’ll fix your behavior, but I know you will just go to work then not worry  about it, come back home to fuck me and make me thing everything is fine, then treat me like shit” I said, not caring about my tears leaving my eyes now.

“Maybe if you were not so dramatic” He said, finally agreeing to my statement that he’s changed. “So now I am the problem?” I said back, now in an angry tone. “And even if I was, were you ever going to say anything, or just let the relationship die?” I added. “I go with the flow” he said, looking away. “Is the flow fucking me as if I was just nobody?” I asked, more tears coming out.

I stood up from the bed, then began to dress up, rushing. “Where are you going?” he asked, trying to grab hold of me. “Don’t touch me, I am done with the anxiety of being with you. I’ll go to my parent’s house” I said, packing my stuff in a bag. “So we’re over?” he said, following me to the front door. “We were over a few months ago and I just came to notice it” I said, then left and slammed the door.

And that was the night I broke up with Nick, freeing myself from so much negativity.