Why not me

“I’m a girl,” Becca said seriously, her tone so earnest that Selina couldn’t help but smile.

“I know that, B,” Selina said softly.

“We’ve kissed before,” Becca added when Selina didn’t add anything else.

“I know that too,” Selina responded quietly, her eyes drifting away from Becca’s as she spoke.

“Did you even think about hitting on me?” Becca asked not quite able to keep the note of hurt she was feeling out of her voice.

“Becca,” Selina whispered roughly her eyes involuntarily tracking back over to Becca.

“I’m your bestie.”

“Yeah, you are,” Selina said, her hand twitching by her side for a moment before she reached out and grasped Becca’s hand, holding it tightly between her own. “That’s why I couldn’t … why I didn’t …” Selina continued breaking off as she began to blink in an attempt to hold back the tears forming in her eyes. “I need you, B. I need you so much. I love you,” she went on, her hands unconsciously squeezing Becca’s. “I couldn’t … I mean what if you had … I couldn’t bear the thought of you hating me.”

Becca reached out and pressed her hand against Selina’s cheek. “I don’t hate you,” she said softly as Selina reached up and covered her hand with one of her own. “You know I’ve never even been able to stay mad at you for long,” the brunette continued smiling softly, knowing that Selina was one of the few weaknesses she would admit to having. “I love you too. Beautiful mess that you are,” she finished fondly, stroking Selina’s face lightly.

Selina breathed in deeply, her body shuddering slightly as a few drops of liquid finally escaped her eyes.

“B,” she managed to choke out, her tear filled eyes focused on the brunette, begging for her to do something to make it better.

Becca leaned forward, and the moment that she did, Selina shifted forward and wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, burying her face in Becca’s neck as she cried, secure in the knowledge that Becca had her, and always would.

Minutes later Selina pulled back from Becca sniffling and trying to summon up a brave face.

“Thanks,” the blonde murmured softly. “I needed …”

Selina was silenced by the press of Becca’s lips against her own. A small sound of surprise escaped from her, but once she registered what was happening, her body relaxed and she parted her lips, giving herself over to Becca, allowing the brunette to take the lead.

Becca placed her hand on Selina’s thigh, and leaned into the blonde, kissing her more intently; Selina’s acquiescence inflaming her passion.

Seeing Selina and Georgina together in the washroom had done something to her. She had been shocked and appalled for sure, but there had been another emotion churning inside of her that had confused and alarmed her when she identified it as excitement.

Horrified and surprised as she had been when her eyes had dropped below Selina’s waist and she had seen Georgina’s hand moving underneath the helm of the blonde’s dress, Becca had felt something white hot flare inside of her. She had felt her heart begin to pound, and heard blood rushing in her ears, and between her legs her sex had clenched, hard.

As she made her way home, staring broodingly out of the window of the taxi she struggled to understand why she was reacting so strongly to what she had seen. Although she had never seen anything like that before, she had seen Selina in compromising positions before but had never reacted like that. And when she acknowledged the extremity of her response she was able to figure out the nature of it: jealousy.

As she made her way out of the cab and up to the penthouse, all she could think was that it should have been her with Selina, not Georgina but her. It should have been her.

She wanted it to be her.

Becca kissed Selina hotly in a hormonal daze. Feeling she had barely been aware of hours before crashing over her, taking possession of her. Now that she was pressed against Selina, was touching Selina, was kissing her, she couldn’t fathom stopping. She couldn’t believe that it had taken her this long to realize that she wanted this.

Becca’s hand moved further up Selina’s thigh, pushing up the short material of the blonde’s dress as she did until finally her fingers dipped between Selina’s legs and pressed against the warm material of her panties.

Selina’s fingers wrapped around Becca’s wrist and tugged, drawing the brunette’s hand back. She placed Becca’s hand on her leg and then used her own to cover it, keeping it in place.

Becca looked up at her questioningly, blinking as if she were coming out of a deep sleep. A sound of deep unhappiness emerged from her throat and she tried to tug her hand from beneath Selina’s so that she could return it to the warm nook that it had been yanked away from.

“No,” Selina breathed out pressing down on Becca’s hand firmly. “Not like this. Not with you,” she continued softly, looking at Becca beseechingly, needing her to understand.

Becca was different than Georgina, or anyone else. Becca was special. She loved Becca. Becca was her girl. And if they … if they were going to … she wanted it to be special to. At the very least she wanted to make it to a bed.

Becca blinked again, and then licked her lips, inclining her head minutely as she did.

“Sorry,” she murmured a moment later as her mind cleared, her other hand moving to rest on top of the one Selina was holding down against her leg. “I didn’t mean to molest you.”

Selina smiled at that, before her eyes dropped to watch Becca’s thumb as it ran over the back of her hand.

“Don’t be sorry,” Selina said softly looking back over at Becca. “I’ve …” she continued a faint blush touching her cheeks. “I’ve actually wanted you to molest me for a while,” she went on, blushing harder and averting her eyes when Becca smiled at her. “Well, not ‘molest’ really, but …”

“I know what you mean,” Becca said softly, letting Selina off the hook gently.

“It’s just,” Selina said her tone and eyes serious as she focused on Becca once more. “I know I’m kind of a slut, but it’s you and me, you know. It’s us. And I don’t … I don’t want you fuck me on your staircase. I want to,” she continued her voice lowering, “with you I want it to be … more, to mean more. I want it to be romantic, I guess.”

Becca watched Selina silently, her eyes shimmering wetly before she bent towards the blonde and rested her forehead against Selina’s. She placed her free hand on top of the blonde’s, holding the blonde’s hand warmly between her own.

“S,” she said softly, overwhelmed with emotion. “Baby…” she murmured unable to express the feelings swelling within her in words.

Selina looked over at Becca, watching her intently for a long moment before she took a deep breath. “I know I said that I wanted you to … that,” she continued before pausing again. “You don’t have to do this,” she whispered a moment later, her brain and heart still having trouble believing that what was happening was really happening and not just a figment of her imagination.

“I know,” Becca said quietly, a small smile touching her lips a second later. “I’m Becca Brenton. I don’t do anything I don’t want to,” she said stroking the back of Selina’s hand with her thumb. “Really S, you know me,” Becca went on, “I’m not that accommodating,” she said smiling tenderly.

Selina smiled at that, and then laughed with amusement and relief, blinking back tears that had suddenly formed in her eyes as she did.

“Sorry, that was … stupid,” Selina mumbled looking away from Becca, her lips curving up in a self-conscious smile.

“Not really,” Becca said, releasing Selina’s hand so that she could stroke her cheek. “You know I would do anything for you.”

“But you won’t do that?” Selina questioned singing the line as she smiled.

“Oh I will,” Becca promised, enjoying the faint flush that came to Selina’s cheeks. “But not out of politeness.”

Selina smiled at that, and she and Becca stared at each silently for a few seconds before the blonde dropped her gaze down to their hands which were still entwined with each other.

“So …” Selina began, trailing off as she looked up at Becca.

“Yeah,” Becca drawled drawing the word out as she looked around her for a second.

When her eyes met Selina’s against however, she was smiling and it made Selina smile which eased some of the tension that had formed between them.

“Come on,” Becca said softly, rising to her feet as she spoke, careful to keep Selina’s hands in her own as she did.

“Where are we going?” Selina asked standing, allowing herself to be dragged along by Becca perfectly willing to follow the brunette wherever she would lead her. It was Becca after all, there was nothing to fear.

“My room,” Becca said looking over her shoulder at Selina as she ascended the staircase, her hand squeezing Selina’s lightly as she spoke.

“Why?” Selina asked knowingly, a small smile touching her lips as Becca paused midway up the stairs and stared down at her.

Becca smiled, “It’s more romantic up there.”

The End