I got gangbanged the week i turned 18

This happened last year, right after I turned 18. I was dating this guy who was a few years older than me. At first, he seemed exciting… kind of wild and full of new experiences. I was young and curious, and honestly, I trusted him more than I should have.

One day, he brought up the idea of doing something “different” a group experience with him and his three flatmates. I was hesitant, but he kept saying it would be safe and fun, and that we’d talk about boundaries and limits first. I didn’t want to seem boring or insecure, so I agreed, thinking it would just be a one-time thing.

But once it started, it didn’t stop. What was supposed to be one day turned into four. I didn’t leave their place for that entire time. If I tried to leave they would just beg me or start undressing me.

I don’t remember a lot of it clearly.. just feeling overwhelmed and totally drained, both mentally and physically. After it ended, I was in pain for a long time, and not just physically. What hurt even more was that my boyfriend broke up with me soon after, saying I had “no self-respect” and that no one would ever want to be with someone like me.

I swallowed more than a litre of cum. My asshole was so brutally used that it took a month to heal.

It took me a while to realize that what happened wasn’t okay. Just because I said yes at the beginning doesn’t mean I was okay with everything that followed. I’ve learned that real consent means feeling safe, respected, and able to say no at any time.. not feeling pressured or afraid to leave.

If I could go back, I’d tell myself that it’s okay to have boundaries, that real partners respect them, and that you never have to prove your worth through sex.