Not warm

I opened my eyes in an all red velvet room, which had a few scented candles burning. They were almost completely consumed by the flame, but they added a nice cherry smell to the room. The sheets were beige and soft, very comfortable. There was a guy sleeping next to me, of handsome features, but a name I can’t remember. I stood up from the bed, completely naked, and looked for my clothes quietly, trying to not wake up the guy.

I found pieces of my clothing scattered around the room, with flashbacks of what had happened last night coming back to my head. We had come here, to his apartment, from a bar we met in last night. We were pretty drunk when we got here, so we made quite a mess. There was an open champagne bottle in the floor, empty. I recall we drank it as we got home, before undressing.

We kissed savagely while taking off our clothes, throwing them around the entire room. I remember looking at myself on his big mirror while he held me and kissed me on the neck, the blurriness the alcohol made in my head made it much more difficult to know exactly when what happened. It was all a blur of red, nice smells, alcohol and sex. The guy let himself go while fucking, probably because he was drunk. He split my legs open and licked my pussy like it was second instinct to him, making me wet in seconds.

As I started to dress up, more and more images from last night started to flash before my eyes. Back at the club, I had gone there by myself. I had just gotten a new job so I wanted to celebrate, and that is how I ended up in that bar. I don’t remember which one it was, or what else I did there. I do remember I met the guy at the bar.

By now, I am fully dressed, but I can’t find my shoes anywhere. I look under the bed and find a dildo, it’s slightly soaked. As I grab it, more memories come to me from last night. He used that dildo in my pussy before fucking me with his dick, then when he fucked me in the ass I used the dildo on my pussy. I set the dildo down then saw my heels under the bed, I quickly grabbed them and put them on.

I brushed my hair slightly, then made my way out of the apartment silently. I went downstairs quickly, excited to finally be out of that building. Then I saw the light of day, and busy people walking on the streets. I looked like I had been just fucked savagely, which was exactly what had happened. I had to walk to the bus stop to catch a bus, but this is where the bad part began. As I walked, I saw a lot of people’s faces, strangers. Some handsome, some not so much, attractive women, older guys, some of them stared at me.

And suddenly their faces started to change. They shifted into faces of people I had slept with, at least for the past month. A guy walking by with a red shirt and a black jacket, he resembled a guy I fucked last weekend on a bathroom stall. This girl with long blonde hair resembled a girl I made out with at a bar, then two guys took us to their apartment to make a porno video. I wonder if that is up online somewhere.

The more faces I saw, the more disgusted and sad I felt. I saw this guy I had fucked in his car a few weeks back, he fisted me and left my pussy red, wet and open. I met most of these people at bars, because I frequent so many and I go alone most of the time. When was the last time I had a normal relationship? I can’t tell.

I got to the bus stop and got into a bus that arrived just in time. Inside, I sat down quietly and watched the city scenery go by as the bus moved through town. A few minutes later, someone sat beside me, and when I looked at his face, it was the guy whose apartment I had just left. My face expressed shock, and I blinked quickly to see what I was really looking at. It was a completely different guy, looking at me funny after my weird expressions towards him.

On the following stop, he switched to a different seat. I looked at him go away and felt a little disappointed. Then, more flashbacks from last night came back to me. The guy was fucking me hard on his bed, right in my pussy. I was moaning loudly, and he made me deepthroat the dildo so I wouldn’t be so loud, while he continued to fuck me. It was pleasurable, yes, it was fun. But it left me feeling awfully empty, just like my one night stands with all these strangers before did.

If so, why did I go back to looking for more strangers to fuck each and every weekend? Will next weekend be the same? As I kept pondering my life choices, my stop came closer and closer. When I got off the bus, I was just steps away from my apartment building. I walked in, took the elevator and went to my house. I walked in to the mess it was inside, wine bottles lying around and tons of newspapers scattered from when I was job hunting.

Is this the life I want to live? Is it fun to have one night stands every weekend to end up feeling empty and seeing all these faces out there? Is this what I want?

I asked myself these questions as I picked up the mess that was on my floor, and quickly cleaned up. I sat down on my couch, looked down to my coffee table, saw a bottle of wine I left half-empty, picked it up and started to drink what was left, while crying. When I was done, I went to take a shower. I didn’t want to smell like cherries and that guy anymore.