Sleeping Beauty PART 1

My breath was in unison with hers. She inhaled- I inhaled. She exhaled- I exhaled. She sighed- I sighed.

I watched down at her, seeing only the back of her hair but I knew her face would look beautiful while she slept.

My sleeping beauty.

Her body was warming mine for hours now. I actually believed that those parts of my body that touched hers were warm. Warm like her. Unison.

I wondered how she could sleep in a position like this. Her head rested in the middle of my chest, right over my stomach, her arms wrapped around my waist hugging me in the warmest embrace I’d ever experienced, one of her legs crossed with mine.

My right arm rested over her shoulders, my left hand laid right under her face to feel the soft little blows of her breath, reaching up to touch her lips every now and then.

Maybe it was the uncomfortable position that made her wake up in the middle of the night because suddenly her way of breathing changed and she raised her head with a soft moan. She lifted herself up a bit to be able to turn her head to face me, squinting in the unusually bright full moon light. A strand of hair fell across her features making her frown because of the tickle it caused. I stroke it away slowly, smiling. She returned it, still squinting.

Carefully I slid down from my half-sitting position so my shoulders leaned against the pillow, embraced her and pulled her for me so light body in a more comfortable position, with her head now resting on my not-beating heart.

She took a deep breath as she nestled herself closer to me with her face snuggled to my neck.

I craved for her closeness, her warmth. Without thinking I let my hand wander down her spine until my fingers found exposed skin, softer, warmer, and smoother than anything else I had ever touched. My whole hand slipped under her sleep shirt, wanting to soak up the heat. Her slight twitch made me realize what I was doing- my coldness made her shiver. I pulled the hand away and tugged the bedcovers tighter on her as a gesture of apology.

How I wished I could be human, even only for one night. I wanted to give back to her what she gave me by her only presence. But it wasn’t to be.

Her hand reached up, her fingertips tracing a line next to the seam of my shirt. I loved her touch- how couldn’t I? – but I was about to ask why she wasn’t sleeping as she started to run the tip of her nose up and down my neck; so gentle and slow it made me shiver this time.

My arms pulled her tighter as she proceeded and placed a sweet little kiss behind my ear.

Another one right below.

Another one below the other.

Another one. And another…

I closed my eyes but didn’t move, except my hand that lifted itself up to lie on the back of her head. With a will of its own.

As her hot lips reached my collar bone they wandered the same way back up, proceeding then on my jaw line, slowly until they reached the corner of my mouth. For a second she rested over me, not kissing as I expected. Instead I could feel her pull back a little and as I opened my eyes I saw her looking at me. Her face was so beautiful in the moonlight.

My hand was still on the back of her head so I pulled her back down to me.

Our lips met in a soft kiss and the low noise that emerged from it, mixed with my own faint sigh, seemed to be the loudest sound in the room.

My other hand started to wander, from her neck slowly down to the small of her back, forward to her waist, down to her hip. She kissed my neck again. Then she hesitated, opened her mouth a bit and let her tongue dart out, only for a second.

I heard myself inhale sharply and the grip of my hand on her hip tightened as I tried to pull her body closer to mine.

When she saw that I didn’t pull back from her as usually in a situation like this, she continued to trace my neck with her tongue.

The reason why I didn’t pull back was because I simply didn’t want to move. All I wanted was to be touched from her in this way and the only chance to experience that without risking to hurt her was like a statue.

She was laying half on me by now and I was overly conscious about the thin fabric of her shirt.

Don’t move, my mind whispered, if you don’t move you can’t hurt her. And enjoy.

Her hand wandered down my chest and on the seam of my shirt she let it slip under it. And even I had bathed in her warmth all the time tonight the direct heat hit me like an electrical shock. The muscles of my stomach strained where she touched me.

I couldn’t help but pull her face up to mine; my lips opened, my tongue brushed her lower lip…

I gasped and pulled away, vampire speed. No, I couldn’t do this. I would hurt her!

“Bjor,” her voice was hoarse and it attracted me even more. On my new position at the other end of the bed I tried to breathe evenly.

I wanted her. More that ever before. But I couldn’t, we couldn’t…

She attempted to crawl to me but I held my hand up to stop her. Touching would only make it harder.

“Please, don’t,” I sounded husky. I rushed over to the window and tore it open, the cold air hitting me and calming me a little. After a few deep breaths I felt okay to turn around.

She was sitting on the bed where I had left her, covering herself with the sheets from the cold and watching me with big scared eyes.

“I didn’t think, I’m sorry,” she whispered, now looking down. I was at her side in an instant, but kept my distance.

“No, it’s not your fault, of course its not,” I whispered back. “I let it go too far and lost it. I am sorry, Anastasia.”

We sat in silence then for a moment. Then I extended my arm, pulled her in my lap and kissed her forehead. “You should go back to sleep”.

“How could I sleep after this,” she whispered, her face next to mine, our cheeks touching.

Her delicious scent filled my senses and again, made me unable to think properly. I found myself pushing her back into the pillow with me lying on her, my arms supporting my weight.

“You won’t hurt me, Bjor, I know you won’t,” she continued, her arms folding around my neck, taking advantage of my dazzled state.

“No Anastasia, I’m afraid I would”.

“No, you wouldn’t,” she stroke my cheek with her lips. “I trust you.” She kissed the corner of my mouth. “I love you”.

I felt my defence weaken. After months and months of self-restraint I was getting limp. I was already in too deep to hold back anymore.

“But I can’t kiss you”, I whispered faintly as she did the neck- kissing thing again.

“You can do other things”.

Again, my hand had its own will. It slipped under her shirt all by its own and traced patterns on her waist and belly.

“But I’m afraid I would loose control while we… . I can’t hold back that hard when …”.

My voice had never sounded that limp before.

“I’m sure you can”.

“I can’t control…”. Her neck begged to be kissed. I gave in.