Heartbreak

My name is Thomas and the story I’m about to share is how my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me, and broke my heart in the process. It all happened in a spam of 2 months, and I never imagined it would come because everything had been going on perfectly up until that point.

I’ll keep my boyfriend’s name private for obvious reasons. So, I’ll refer to him as Josh.  Josh is a very nice, charismatic man. We fell for each other in college, and as we finished it and graduated, we had become quite the popular couple. We had tons of friends, our families got along, my parents even loved him. He made me learn not to be ashamed of being gay.

When we broke up, everybody was very surprised, and of course I did not want anyone asking me about it. It was, and still is, something painful for me to talk about. So everybody understood, and we never really talked about it. Not even my family. It’s something I totally tried to bury deep down so it would not bother me.

Anyway, our relationship was truly dreamy while it lasted. We had dates all the time, we were accepted, we had loving friends and family, we were open and honest… it was the kind of relationship you see portrayed in the movies, but much realer and touchable. And I loved to touch Josh. He was  a very gentle guy, compared to me. He was delicate and cute. His jawline was strong, his shy gray eyes were attractive, his soft pouty lips were just calling me to kiss them all the time, his short black hair was soft to touch… he was a pleasure to behold and to have.

He was also rather jealous and protective of me, and that made me feel confidence in our relationship. I thought he really wanted to be with me, and maybe he did for a while, but it eventually faded I guess. It was very, very hard to grasp in the beginning. It is still hard to grasp sometimes.

It all began one day, when we went on a date to this natural restaurant. It had a lot of plants and was partially outdoors. We had dinner on the outdoor area, it was very peaceful and beautiful. It had been his idea to go there. We had dinner, we talked, we laughed… it was all wonderful, a great date, just as usual. Afterwards, we went to my house.

“Do you think that…” is something he said during our seemingly silent car ride back home, to break the silence. “Do I think what?” I replied, and gave him a quick confused glance. “It’s nothing” he said instantly. I knew he wanted to talk about the break up. Looking back, that seems the most reasonable thing to think. He was acting a little weird.

After we got home, we decided to make a little dessert for ourselves. So we baked a small cake, that we decorated with chocolate and then ate with milk. It was a little romantic moment, kissing with the chocolate stains on our lips, it was sweet and intimate. I really liked that, I really liked to cook with him. I truly miss that.

After that, we just laid down in my room to watch tv and, after a while, he got on top of me and we started to make out. He was very passionate and sort of aggressive, and I just followed suit. He had never been so bold like this. I enjoyed it. Before long, we were naked on my bed and jerking each other off while kissing.

He stopped kissing me and went down to my cock to suck on it. He sucked it slowly, playing with the tip using his tongue while eyeing me naughtily, with a smile. He took a breath and then said he wanted me to fuck him, and of course I wanted to fuck him. We had slow, sexy sex on my bed for around 20 minutes. I held him against the wall on the bed while I fucked him from behind. His little moans in pleasure were like music to my ears. I tried to reach out down to his crotch to masturbate him while I fucked him, and he just stayed pinned against the wall helplessly as I took control of his body.

After a few moments, we both came at the same time. It was a very sensual moment. His cum splashed on the bed, and I came inside him. After that, I pulled out and we started to make out again. After a few minutes, we got up to clean up and take a shower.

After our shower, we laid down on bed naked, ready to sleep. He gave me little kisses on my chest as we fell asleep together, it was very romantic. I remember I slept very well that night, for some reason. Maybe because of the heartache that was incoming the following day.

After we woke up in the morning, we had breakfast as usual, we cooked together again. We sat down to have our pancakes, and it was a silent breakfast. After he got dressed up to go to his house, he told me he needed to talk to me: that’s when he confessed he did not want to be in a relationship with me anymore. When I asked him why, he just said he felt from his side of things that it would not work anymore. I was very confused and I couldn’t hold my tears, but he did not explain anymore. He also started to cry and hugged me once more before leaving. We have spoken just a few times since then.

And my heart was completelty shattered. I missed him for days, weeks, months, and I had no way to take him out of my head. Worse yet, the idea of him being with someone else irked me so much that it drove me to tears almost instantly. Sometimes it still does. This happened a little over a year ago and I still feel strongly about it. I thought that writing about it would help me let go. I yearn to let go.