True Self

I had been dating this guy for over 1 year now. We met when I had given up hope on dating, and guys in general, and like some sort of miracle he showed me a different side to dating. I can say I had my first “real” dates with him and all my friends knew him, and I also met all his friends. He seemed to be good, smart, caring and interesting. However, things eventually turned around and he showed his true colors.

I am going to keep names private, so I will refer to myself as Jack on this story, and my ex boyfriend will be Louis. We met on new year’s eve, at my friend’s midnight bash. He had been invited by a mutual friend of my friend by pure chance, and we were the only gay guys there. I know it sounds like a reach, but maybe it is possible to be compatible with the only gay guy in a party of that size. At least, we were compatible.

We started talking that night, then we exchanged phone numbers. He began to constantly text me a few days later, and at first it was really bothersome. I had grown out of the idea of talking to someone so constantly. Then, he started asking me out on dates. It was really awkward at first, and I could not understand how he was so willing to see me and hang out with me. Eventually, I warmed up to him.

He started opening up more and more to me. One thing I noticed is that he was not as kinky as I was, and that was boring sometimes. Whenever I tried to start something up via text, he would turn me off almost instantly. That is something I did not like about him. However, in person he was certainly more physical and reached out to turn me out more, he was more suggestive. Always finding little ways to touch me or try to take my shirt off while we made out. He was not so good at kissing but it was enough for me.

I really like neck kisses and he always tried to please me with these the best he could. However, his neck kisses were not exactly good, but they did their job. I was a bit more savage towards him, grabbing him close when we kissed, trying to french kiss him, poking him with my hard cock when we kissed, I was always trying to turn him on in some way, and eventually it worked out.

I remember the first time we had sex, 5 months into dating. He claimed it was his first time as well, but I have my doubts about that. We were alone at my house, and he had gotten blackout drunk. I had drinked a bit too, but I was just fine. I had to take care of his drunk ass, I think this was the first time he had gotten so drunk, even if he was tipsy during new years. He had fallen asleep and I fell asleep right next to him, just glad that he was okay. Later into the night, he hugged me from behind then started kissing my neck, waking me up in the process.

I was shocked. I woke up then turned around, and he was smiling. We started to make out passionately, I got on top of him and put my hands on his chest, then I moved them to his palms and over his head as we made out. He slid his hands under my shirt, and I knew he was not going to take it off so I did it. I took off his shirt, then we continued kissing shirtless.

I started to kiss his neck, moving down to his bare chest, licking his nipples along the way. He smelt like alcohol and was giggling shyly. He was adorable. I continued kissing him down to his stomach passionately, then I reached his navel and started to unzip his jeans. I took off his pants and then proceed to take off mine, and when we were in just our boxers we continued kissing on my bed.

Our cocks were hard against each other as we kissed, and when we could not resist it anymore I just took his boxers off, then started sucking his cock. It was thicker than I had imagined. It was already rock hard, jumping out of his underwear as I took it off. I sucked him slowly as I rubbed his nipples, getting them hard as well. After a bit, I took off my boxers and let him gobble on my cock. Mine was longer but not as thick. He seemed to not be so confident at sucking cock.

I just caressed his hair as he sucked it, then when he pulled it out of his head I reached out to kiss him again. I really like kissing. After a bit, I began to rim his ass, getting him loose. He let myself do anything I wanted to his body. I asked him to hand me a condom from my night table, and I put it on in a blink. I teased his asshole with the tip of my penis, looking at his face as he smirked naughtily. I slowly slid my cock into him, then I bent down to kiss him as I thrusted into him.

His moans started in pain at first but as I continued, they turned to please as his ass got looser and more welcoming of my cock. The kissing had relaxed him. I had never been so comfortable having sex with someone else.

We continued fucking for a good 30 minutes more, then I had him coming. He let out a nice load over his torso which I licked off of it. I then took off my condom and let him suck on my cock, eventually coming into his mouth. He seemed to react with a shock when I came into his mouth. After cleaning ourselves, we laid down naked as we continued to make out and receive the morning sun, then we fell asleep cuddling. We woke up a few hours later because he had to go to work, but I did not want him to go.

From there onwards, we became an official couple, having more elaborate dates and outings with our friends. I do not generally like company, but I enjoyed being around him a lot, almost all the time even. His friends seemed to like me, even if some were a bit shady. I imagined they were hiding something, but then again I never cared much for them.

Around 5 months ago, things began to get weird. He started to get distant, and at first I had assumed it was his work, and so he claimed. He started completely neglecting me, and I kept asking him what was wrong time after time, but he kept saying nothing was wrong, that he was just busy. Eventually, I got fed up and blew up on him, even if generally I am a quiet guy. Every time we talked, I just got more anxiety and anger due to the fact he kept ignoring me.

He had the lamest excuses. Eventually we fell off, but I had seen it coming. He did not seem to care much, and he never talked to me again. I was, and still am, affected by it even if only slightly. It has been 4 months already, and I do not care much about it, but if I stop to think then I may get sad or angry.

A little while after breaking up, I discovered he had been dating a guy who had moved to another country, and they even talked all the time while he was dating me. Maybe this is why he did not like taking pictures together. As soon as the other guy started to be needy or suspicious that something was off, Louis dropped me in a heartbeat. It was crushing.

I have not dated anyone else yet, and I do not plan on doing so anytime soon. However, what he taught me best was that no matter your education, career and age, if you’re not mature and can’t comply with basic human feelings, then nothing of that really matters. I also learned that I was able to like people again.

I think the other guy and him fell off, because he’s seem to be pretty sad these days. Yes, I still keep an eye on him and yes, I do think he deserves every second of his sadness for being so inconsiderate and a liar to me and that other guy.