Entering BDSM PART 2

While I’m eating, Bernard goes down to his car to fetch “some things” for tonight. I finish about half my plate before my sense of hunger is surpassed by the anticipation of his plans for me. I have to clench my thighs together at the way his deep voice travels through me when he tells me to meet him in my bedroom when I’m done. After putting my dishes in the sink, I have to make a concerted effort not to sprint to my bedroom.

I walk in and he’s organizing skeins of ropes on the bed. My heart jumps a little bit, slightly intimidated but mostly intrigued. He hears me walk in but doesn’t turn around yet. I have to fight the shiver that runs through me when I see the deltoids and trapezius muscles of his back rippling under his shirt as he casually sorts through the ropes.

“Have you been drinking enough water today?”

“Several bottles’ worth. And I just downed another glass before I walked in here. What is it with you and water?”

Bernard takes a breath and turns around to face me fully. “There was an incident where a bottom I was working with got dehydrated during a heavy scene, and as the ‘top, I should have taken better care of her. It was a long time ago, I was inexperienced. She’s fine, no permanent injury or anything, but it’s one of those things that won’t happen again on my watch.” His tone is somber.

I consider what he just said before nodding my head in understanding. “And remind me what a ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ are again?”

Bernard takes on a “teacher” persona, and I have to actively remind myself not to get hot and bothered by it. “A ‘top’ is the personperforming the action during a scene. The ‘bottom’ is the person receiving the action. In this case, I am the top, and the action is tying and binding you, the bottom.”  

He goes back to digging through his bag and pulling things out. He also produces bottles of Gatorade, water, and straws, as well as crackers and jelly beans. “Electrolytes and hydration are important. You’re new at this, so we won’t do any heavy scenes yet, probably won’t for a long time, but I always keep them around anyway. Crackers for carbs. As for the jelly beans, I used to play with a diabetic bottom, and she always made sure to have jelly beans as an emergency glucose source.”

I laugh, “Yeah, one of Alex’s classmates does the same thing. I thought it was cool, and jelly beans are lot more tolerable than glucose tablets.”

He’s back to straightening out the ropes.  He places several pairs of flat-edged medical scissors in different places throughout the room. I look at them questioningly. He answers my question before I can ask it, “It’s a safety thing. In case we need to quickly release you. These scissors won’t impale you, but I’ve tested them all against the ropes, and they’ll cut right through to get you out.”

I nod, “Okay.”

“This isn’t risk-free. I do everything I can to mitigate the risks. You’re a doctor, so you understand how this kind of activity has the potential to cause nerve damage?

“Yes, obviously. The ropes are putting constant pressure on the skin.”

“Another medical term that applies to rope bondage is ischemia.”

“Yeah, it’s what happens when the blood supply is cut off, disrupting cellular metabolism, which can lead to cell damage.”

He has another lop-sided smile on his face, appearing amused by my business-like tone. “Yeah, doc, cellular metabolism… Most of us laypeople don’t have thorough understanding of the details, but I’ve educated myself in enough of it to try and lessen the hazards. There are certain ties and wrap techniques I use that are less harsh on the skin. I also make a very clear plan in my head of what I’m going to do so that I don’t put undue pressure on the wrong parts of the body. There are anatomical areas to avoid ropes and/or knots – like the brachial plexus.”

“Oh yeah, lots of nerves under the armpits.”

“Exactly.  And we want to avoid constricting the femoral arteries.”

“Makes sense. That would cut off blood flow all over the leg.”

“I need you to let me know if you feel numbness, tingling, pins-and-needles, or pain, anywhere. And you need to tell me the second you feel it. That’s important.”

“I will.”

“I’ll be checking things constantly, and I have ways to do so without breaking the mood. But still, sensation is objective. I can’t tell if you’ve gone numb somewhere unless you tell me.”

I nod and give him an awkward thumbs-up. I shake out my hands, as if I can shed the awkwardness by doing so. He just smiles kindly.

“So you’ve been doing this for a while, then?”

He nods, “Bondage, specifically? Yes.”

“So I guess I should consider myself lucky that I’ve got an experienced top.”

He smirks, “You should.” His vocal tone has become suggestive as fuck, and I’m trying to keep my head straight until he’s done telling me the important stuff.”

“I read that a person new to ropes will spend more time playing with the ropes, rather than playing with me with the ropes. Like it’d all be practice.”

“I can assure you Princess, I’ll take care of you.” Fuck, I’m going to lose it soon…

“So, that time I slapped you, when you suggested I get tied up…” I trail off, trying to muster up confidence.

He looks down at me again with a raised eyebrow, “Go on, Emmae.”

“Did you ever think of me, specifically?” His eyes darken, and the look on his face sends a confidence-boosting thrill through me. “Did you fantasize about tying me?”

He nods, and my mouth goes dry.

“What ties did you visualize? What positions did you imagine me in?” I’m trying to sound seductive, but I’m pretty sure it just came out a whisper. Still, based on his reactions, the effect is comparable.

He leans into me, and whispers in my ear. “Every fucking one I knew.” My breath hitches and I feel my skin heat up.

“So, we’re going to do this? You’re gonna tie me?” I try to maintain a look of nonchalance but I can tell he sees right through it, so I crack a nervous smile.

“We don’t have to-“

“No, I want to.” I place my hand on his chest, reassuring him of my willingness.

“I just want to be clear. Emmae, I will never, ever do anything to you that you don’t want.” His hand cradles my cheek, and the look on his face is unbearably sincere. I lean into his hand, and I feel so safe and protected.

“I know, Bernard. I trust you.”

He brushes my cheeks with the backs of his fingers, his eyes tearing through my soul. “I’m going to talk you through everything. We start low and slow.”

I nod, “Okay.”

The atmosphere shifts as he straightens his posture, his body an imposing presence in the room.

“Close your door. And lock it.”

I do as he says. The locking thing is important. I really don’t want Alex walking in on this.

“Now come here.”

I walk back to stand in front of him.

“I’m going to undress you.”

I nod again in consent.

He walks around me in a circle, and I can feel his stare roaming over me. I’m going crazy inside. I feel myself squirming under his gaze and when he finally comes up behind me, I sigh in relief. He rubs his hands up and down my arms, and it feels like a cleansing gesture for my mind. When he does it, I’m brought to the moment. Whatever I am distracted by, whatever might be plaguing me, disappears I feel his hands running up and down the length of my arms.

“Nod your head when you’re ready to go on.”

I close my eyes as I take a deep breath, letting his air fill my lungs while his scent surrounds me. I nod my head as I exhale. He sweeps his fingertips up the length of my arms, over my shoulders and finally curls them around the nape of my neck. He sweeps them up around the base of my skull, gathering my hair in his hands. He tugs on it, pulling my head to the side to expose a length of my neck. He rakes his lips along the bared flesh and drags them back up to the shell of my ear, nipping lightly at it between his teeth. He then twists my hair until it wraps itself into a bun, which he secures with a hair elastic he must have procured from my dresser.

“Can’t have your hair getting caught up in anything.”