all began with six years

When I was 6 years old, my mother worked very hard, full schedules like my father and child left me in the care of my cousins, one aged 17 and another 15}

one of my cousins ??told me he wanted to play with me to the family and that the former was making babies, that if we had a baby we could play a lot better, he took me to his bed and undressed me, touched my body and sucked my vagina, then, at that time it did not affect me at all, because I did not understand, for I was a game that followed, drew its membership and touched him, I approached him and told me the vagina so that we would have a baby, usually sucked me and then played near my vagina and ejaculate there other ,. my cousins ??said it had a great contest, and that if I won I would give the candy I wanted, the game was giving kisses to his penis until ” tired ” and ” sweat&quot ;, if that happened I was the great winner and I bought me a treat … so began the ” play&quot ;, were almost daily, sometimes with one and sometimes another … I started to grow and games obviously were more heated and of course, also over time I was getting bigger prizes and gifts from them.

one of those times, one of them, the largest, began to suck and I remember clearly that it was a pleasant sensation, noticed and started rubbing his fingers the vagina, I complained a little and let me, then he continued stroking with his hand and brought his penis in my vagina and rubbed me with, I remember a little pain and pleasure, and so continue ” play ” many times, and one day, after we got home we got picked up from school and told me that they knew that he had been playing with the 2, it was better than we played together, I undressed and began to touch me, they told me to kiss and I sucked his penis, touched and rubbed a little each one of them, remember it was pleasant, I liked playing with them. one of them put his penis in my mouth and the other rubbing my vagina with his penis, everything was pleasant, I remember that at that time I felt it was bad, just that once were all 3 together, but the ” play ” He followed almost 12 years.

as I said, I did not know what sex was, I had no idea what they did to me was wrong, as they always say only that if I told anyone of the games we had we could not do it and not me would give more gifts than my other prim @ s also would want to win [the eyes of a child, it is important gifts and prizes].

some time later, I knew what sex was, in school they explained and I realized that everything that had happened was wrong and that I had been used … ..in the school began to have problems, I was angry having been used, the hated at 2, I wanted to tell my family but I thought no one would believe and it was my fault for not saying anything, and worse, for having enjoyed.

I wanted to die, he felt it was a dirty a bad person, I had violated years and years and I had enjoyed and allowed!

I started having boyfriends, to seek sex with them, I became a great … 13 years, I left untouched by all and got to suck the penis of some guys, I hated it and I thought that was the only thing He served … Time passed, and gradually I calmed my ” forward ” sex, I realized it was not my fault, that I was the victim and met someone who I thought was good and I ran away with him, we got married when I was 17 and shortly after I told him what I thought, the he got angry and told me that if he had told before would never have married me because I was not a virgin and wanted a pure and clean … woman in my mind all again became a mess, I thought that everything had again my fault and I felt terrible, my husband wanted to die …. I “&quot forgave; and I felt better so …. we had children and lived happily .. but in my mind at night and sometimes when we have sex abuse and remember what I did when I was in school and not all confused .. …. is not whether I’m crazy or that happens, sometimes remember what happened and I get angry, I sometimes see my husband and I hate to say that I am not pure or clean, sometimes I think it was my fault for enjoy … …… not think that

now I have 27, and even I can not forget what happened … and I want revenge … would die … would sometimes forget … I want to go, go, sometimes I think it was just a bad dream, that no is this reality …. I do not know …. but before I did not have so present what happened and lately is all that is in my head …..