You are special PART 1

It was the family’s worst kept secret.

 

And it wasn’t like Jacob was ashamed of it, no. He just grew up, accustomed to keeping things the way they were — keeping Jo’s existence a secret. Jo was… he was smart and had lots of potential were he to inherit mom’s business, but. Jo wasn’t like other kids. That much was obvious.

 

Growing up, mom always stressed that Jo was special; he should be treated with care. Jacob shouldn’t grab his arm because he bruised easily. Jacob shouldn’t tease him because he cried easily, too.

 

As a child, he was always careful not to play rough with Jo. Wrestling and toy trucks and pretending to be heroes of some Arthurian novel were out of the question, and unless Jacob was willing to be the prince and Jo was the damsel he was going to rescue, they could play together. (“Just don’t get Jo’s overalls dirty. You know how he hates it when his clothes are soiled.”)

 

Even when they were still children, Jo always showed a fondness for less-physical games. He liked playing house. He liked wearing colorful clips. He liked, more than anything else in the world, having tea with his dolls, dressing them up in pink garb and silk stockings. And it should’ve been Jacob’s first cue, his first tip off that something was wrong, something was very very off. But Jacob did not find out until later, when they were five, and Jo was diagnosed gender dysphoric.

 

Jo thought he was a girl, he vehemently claimed he was, and the doctors could do nothing about it. It was a birth condition. It couldn’t be helped. Mom looked away. She cried all night and her business trips suddenly became all too frequent. Dad was blaming genes and his decision to marry mom.

 

In the end, it became a family secret. Don’t let Jo out, we’re having a party tonight, lock the door I’m having business partners over. Jacob’s earliest memories were holding Jo at night in the darkest of thunderstorms, keeping him company when there was a party downstairs and they were locked in.

When Jacob started high school though, things started to change. Jacob suddenly had friends and girls suddenly liked him and his visits to Jo’s room became less and less frequent until sometimes, it was Jo that had to crawl in next to him under the covers.

 

Jacob would feel uncomfortable if they were pressed up close for too long and he couldn’t look him straight in the eye anymore without flushing in embarrassment.

 

Jacob was changing and Jo didn’t welcome change very well. After all, Jacob was all he had, was all he had known all his life. And if others were going to take him away well, then, he’d be left with nothing, wouldn’t he?

________

It was a Friday and Jacob was more than glad to be relieved from  Club duties.

 

“Hey, I’m home.” He announced, out of habit. He rapped gently on the wall, leaning against the doorframe to find Jo standing by the window. His shoulders seemed heavy and something about him was different, something in the way he stood with his forehead pressed against the glass. Jacob felt his chest tighten when Jo turned to smile at him weakly. “Hey.”

 

Jacob walked towards the bed and undid his necktie.

 

“How was school?” Jo asked, sitting next to him. He was wearing something out of a magazine, nothing garishly explicit but his skirt was too short for Jacob’s liking. Though, Jacob noticed he was wearing blue stockings too. (Mostly, because Jo couldn’t shave his legs yet as mom banned him from sharp objects, early on.)

 

“Hey is that my shirt you have on?”

 

Jo nodded and flustered deeply. “Do you mind?”

 

“No, no, it’s fine.” Jacob said, though he was flushing too. He looked away so Jo wouldn’t notice and decided a change in topic was best at the moment. “So mom’s throwing another party again huh?”

 

“Seems like it,” Jo sighed. He lay on his back, knees dangling off the edge of the bed. They were pretty knees, Jacob thought, and he was suddenly filled with the urge to part them and see what lay between —

 

“You didn’t answer my question, Jacob. How was school?”

 

Jacob blinked. “Right, uh, school.” He trained his gaze to the wall. “Nothing really exciting happened today. Just the usual mundane stuff. You?”

 

Jo shrugged. “Nothing really exciting ever happens here.”

 

Jacob didn’t really have anything to say after that.

 

“Are you coming down to join the party?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You know mom loves it when you decide to grace her parties with your presence.”

 

Jacob scoffed. “I’d rather stay up here. Don’t I always?” He kicked off his shoes and lay on his side to face Jo. The bed dipped under his weight. Jo smelled like lavender. Jo smiled, a tiny, soft smile that managed to light up his entire face. Jacob ran his thumb along his jaw. Jo had really, really, really soft skin.

 

“Hey Jacob?”

 

“Hm?” And his lips looked very soft too.

 

“Why do you think mom doesn’t want me to meet her friends?” Jacob startled at the question. He drew his hand back. “What?”

 

“Mom, do you think she’s,” He bit his lip and something heavy settled at the pit of Jacob’s stomach like a dead weight. “She’s ashamed of me because I’m not a proper girl? Because I don’t have a —” And Jo leaned forwards and whispered something into Jacob’s ear that made him turn very very pink.

 

Jacob shook his head vehemently. “No, no, Jo,” He wasn’t sure if laughing was the best idea but he was positive that his eyes were crinkling in amusement right now. “That’s not it. Mom’s just.” He was going to have to lie. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “She’s just protective,” He said lamely, facing the ceiling again. “She loves you. I love you.”

 

“And Dad?”

 

“Dad’s a big bastard.”

 

Jacob heard Jo release a small sigh, felt him curling into his side like a tiny kitten. He wrapped an arm around Jo’s waist and kissed his forehead.

 

“Why don’t you ever have any of your friends come over to meet me?” Jo asked quietly. Downstairs, guests were teeming in. Jo sounded oh so pitiful and Jacob swallowed thickly, though it wasn’t because the question caught him off guard but because Jo had brought up his leg and was wrapping it around his thigh. “Are you ashamed of me too?”

 

Jacob shut his eyes. He was not going to get hard. He was not going to get hard He was not going to get hard. He was not — okay. Well. So much for that. He turned abruptly, back facing Jo who looked thoroughly upset. “Jacob?”

 

“I’m not ashamed of your Jo.” Really. “It’s just that my friends are… barbaric and I wouldn’t want you around them.”

 

“Barbaric?”

 

“Okay, well,” Think of David. Jacob squeezed his legs together and did just that. “Maybe not barbaric but David, he can get really bad sometimes when Jasper is around.”

 

Then he added, for good measure, “And Jasper, being the vice president is always around.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Damnit.

 

It was the clipped oh. Jacob knew it could only mean one thing —

 

He knew he shouldn’t have looked, not if he wanted to be overcome with pity. Jo’s lower lip started trembling and soon his shoulders were shaking, too. The corners of his eyes were starting to water. In seconds, he was crying.

 

“Jo, hey,” Jacob called out, tucking him into his arms to quell his sobbing. “No, no, I’m not ashamed of you. It’s okay. You don’t have to cry.” Damnit, why did Jo have to smell so good?

 

“Take it easy, come on.” Jacob whispered soothingly and Jo nodded weakly against his chest. When they finally pulled apart, Jacob pushed his hair back from his eyes. “You’re special. That’s why mom and I keep you at home. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better.”

 

“No, really.” And Jacob knew that this was partially true. He didn’t want to see Jo be made fun of in school. “We want to protect you.”

 

“From what?”

 

“From,” Jacob swallowed thickly. He shut his eyes. When he opened them again, Jo was looking at him expectantly. Jacob ran his thumb along his eyelids.

 

“Jo,” He sighed loudly and ran his thumb along the corners of Jo’s mouth. Jo’s eyes widened when Jacob looked like he was about to kiss him. Jacob seemed to think better of it though, and cupped his cheek instead.

 

“You’re special,” Jacob whispered, his eyes suddenly dark with something Jo was unfamiliar with. He pushed Jo back down onto the mattress, pinning him there with his weight, arms braced on either side of him.

 

“What are you doing Jacob?”

 

“I’m showing you how special you are.”

 

And before another word was said, Jacob reached down to cup the back of Jo’s knee. He was peeling off his stocking. Jo’s eyes widened. “Jacob,”

 

“Shh, it’s going to be okay,” Jacob assured him, fingertips oddly soothing against his skin. “Lift your foot up, Jo, now that’s a good bo — girl,” When the stockings were out of the way, Jacob leaned back up.

 

“I think it’s better if we didn’t tell anyone about this.”

 

Jo blinked. Jacob’s breath was making his face heat up. He smelled nice, like aftershave or cologne. He found himself nodding shyly. “What are you going to do?”

 

Jacob’s hand underneath his skirt was all the answer he needed. “Jacob,” He whined, once his brother’s hand found that place between his legs. Jo flustered and pushed him off but Jacob was persistent and shoved him back down.

 

“Jacob,”

 

“It’s going to be okay.” Jacob said, stern. He had a hard expression on his features and Jo felt his underwear being pulled down his knees. “But I don’t have the proper,” He flushed some more. “The proper,” And Jacob finally understood what Jo was going on about.

 

His twin was worried he’d find him revolting because he had a penis. Jacob wasn’t sure if he should laugh or not but he thought it was kind of amusing in a cute sort of way. Jo just looked embarrassed and looked away.

 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jo.” Jacob assured him as he pulled the skirt up to bunch around his waist. Jo’s flush deepened. “I think you’re pretty. Very very very pretty.” And Jacob was not lying this time, either. Jo was a shade paler than he was because he didn’t go out often and his legs were smooth and creamy and the sight of him with his knees angled just so made Jacob’s cock twitch. He swallowed. “I want you to watch me closely Jo.” His voice had a suddenly raspy quality to it that even Jacob himself did not recognize.

 

Jo could only nod weakly as Jacob’s tongue darted out to lick the head. His fingers curled into the mattress. Jacob gave it a few more experimental licks before he engulfed him completely, hand pressed against the skin of Jo’s hip to hold him steady. Jo heard somebody mewl and realized, with embarrassment, that it was him.

 

“Jacob,” He whimpered and he couldn’t keep himself from thrusting up into the velvety-hot mouth. It was good, too good and nothing like he’d ever felt before.

 

Jo had to bite his bottom lip to keep from crying out when Jacob pulled away completely, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm. He was sitting on his haunches, his mouth moist and positively inviting.

 

“Now it’s your turn to do that, Jo,” Jacob said and smirked, fingers quick and deft when they undid the button of his trousers. He kicked them off in one swift movement and lay on his back. “Come on,” He urged and Jo got to his knees to settle between his legs. Jacob’s cock was hard and to Jo’s amazement, bigger than he’d imagined.

 

“Do you like that?” Jacob asked as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Don’t worry, we’ll have you wrapped around my cock later.”

 

Jo’s insides trembled though not in a bad way. “Why are you hard?”

 

“Because of you,” Jacob answered simply though there was a hint of irritation in his tone. “You walk around the house all day in those short skirts of yours and stockings, who wouldn’t get hard?”

 

Jo flushed some more. “Don’t flatter me, Jacob.”

 

“I’m not and I have intention of doing so, Jo. You’re pretty and I’m being honest. Now shut up and wrap that pretty little mouth of yours around my cock.”

 

Jo bit his lip. “Kiss the head, Jo.” Jo bit his lip some more before shyly obeying.

 

“Good, now give it a lick.” Jacob’s head was thrown back as he spread his legs wider.

 

“It tastes funny.”

 

Jacob resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

 

“Just suck it Jo.”

 

“It wouldn’t fit into my mouth!”

 

“It will,” Jacob said and Jo was surprised when Jacob pulled him up to kiss him fiercely. His tongue slid into his mouth, parting his teeth expertly and Jo’s head reeled from the sensations. Jacob kissed him languidly for awhile before pulling away.

 

“Come on,” Jacob urged again, thrusting his hips against Jo’s own and making his twin’s eyes widen once more. Jo nodded, gaze drifting between Jacob’s legs before he sucked in the head, rosy lips widening to accommodate Jacob’s length.